there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was like eating out sand paper
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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