i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
