the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
