Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
