Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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