you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
