Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
