help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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