Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize