im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
