The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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