Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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