thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
