Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
