apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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