why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
