You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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