Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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