New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
