If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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