A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
