In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
