that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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