Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
