Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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