She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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