Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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