hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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