like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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