would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
