Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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