Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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