i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
