If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
