"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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