I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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