We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
