is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
