i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
