why do cheetos always look like penises
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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