The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
