i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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