My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my being single is dangerous.
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I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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