i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
