My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
