are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
