If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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