i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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