he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
