so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
