just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
