Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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