Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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