omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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