and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Did I show you my penis last night?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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