got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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