I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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