I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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