Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
