i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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