Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
