I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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