If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
