Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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